This day.. that year!

On this same day back in 2012, I gazed across the window of Rajdhani as it sped southwards with my heavy heart. I realized what I held back there despite my three months stay in the small, expensive room on the terrace in Karolbagh.

I came back again in 2014..to enter the expansive grounds of a university spread across the Aravallis. Like every other smaller city girl, even I had carried along my dreams on my shoulders with the rest of my baggage. As I called back my brother to tell him I had landed, he instructed me to text him back the Taxi number and other details. I missed Cuttack terribly, how safe..how home-ly! The next call to my bf and the voice assuringly at the other end.. "Don’t worry, you will soon be at home in Delhi".

Few more days of shuttling via Metros and buses, each time calling back my friends in Patparganj to let them know of my GPS location (Admire the Odia spirit of responsibility!) had taught me to manage my time and space pretty well. The initial days with them had helped me cope with both my oblivion as well as anxiety

As I soon shifted over to JNU with multiple tasks at hand, I subconsciously had become a part of the university. Classes, term papers, shifts to Karolbagh, mock tests, library, my new roommate all started fitting into my 'self'.
With exams few days in hand, I barely well prepared for writing an exam as big as I had set out for and not to forget a new engagement to an age old one right in November.. days were spent in rapid syllabus coverage, answer writing sessions while managing the university work.

As one keeps busy in making the ends meet, one barely seems to notice if things are going wrong anywhere. Frustration often vented out in obvious stress and strain sometimes become the biggest alibi for you being left out in the rat race for survival and quest for a better life on this planet. In retrospect you can only shrug your shoulders and laugh it off, learn the lesson and blame it on time and space.. for everything you receive in life is not necessarily your own making. It’s like a lay pedestrian losing his life in an accident because the speeding DTC bus driver did not apply the brakes when needed.

As another few months had passed, I realized how acquainted I had grown with the strange city. I could confidently navigate the auto rickshaw to my destination, guess the distance it would make, bargain and haggle with the street side vendors in Connaught Place, arrive at the right eatery at the right time for a sumptous meal and even decide on the taste of the crowd I wished to encounter, Old Delhi...Karolbagh..Chandni Chowk..Saket and the list goes on.

My love with my acquired skills were further revealed when I took my aunt who came down from US for three days of unleashed shopping in Delhi haat, Connaught Place etc. Few months on, as I accompanied two other friends for some small trips around to places like Lal Killa, Parathe walli galli, the upmarket Hauz Khas village (as they loved looking around at the crowd ;-)) and subsequently to the taste of the sacrosanct typical Odia meal at the Jagannath temple nearby.. I was priding off my knowledge nevertheless, with both of them on the marbled floor of the temple, in the evening breeze where discussion on aviation, engineering, medical science, bureaucracy and mythology acquired equal space.

Today, as I sat back realizing the importance of the date..I mentioned it to my friends, it was a year complete in Delhi, I realized how drastically life changes.. How my confidence level had upgraded itself altogether. How much I had become a part of this city-system, exploiting its offers while guarding against possible dangers. How light I felt hello-ing people I knew barely by face.. rushing to my work with no company but myself.. compiling my materials with utmost care and self-inspection (previously a huge drawback with me).. helping novices out with bits of information. In between my usual manner of being lost in thoughts I was interrupted by one of my co-bakkar-ers.. "Tu last tym Sitambar main ayee thee aur itne marks phod diya mains main...sahi hai".. I modestly reflected to myself.."Only if that was the end to my ordeal!" and then to him "Itna hi great hai to results swap karlein"..followed by grins and smugs!

While the discussion was dimmed amongst jeers of laughter and dispersal back to the reading rooms.. I began reflecting on my possible days ahead. How easy or tough the path is, no one knows. Seriously no one.. and this time I am not hallucinating myself with voices of usual optimism that stops brightening you up in the face of a real crisis. Just looked around and laughed at the old dialogue from the movie Run.. "Kahe ka Dilli bey.. Dil-Hi to nahin hai yahan pe!!!"
Smiling back in self-motivational attempts, I knew,  Delhi still holds many unfold stories for me..while I have many unfinished tasks. I have known never to give up so

easily. Everything that begins has to conclude as well. I wait to see what life can really be like.. Strange coming from me.. because till yesterday I thought I had always seen life from very close proximity..

Life... a mixed bag of my own efforts and pre-destiny. Suddenly I was reminded of Greenday's famous number "As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost.. Wake me up when September ends.."

Of the sea and the swimmer

My toes seemed to feel the slippery floor below... The door lay ahead...I tiptoed upto it fully aware of the fall that might result in an abrupt crash..
Heart pounding..??. Sheer understatement! My fingers felt numb..I looked around,I could see people.. Ones who would probably save me from dying if the event was ghastly...but it was me at stake..my curiosity.. My innermost fears....desires.. May be life..
Why me...who had to turn the knob? Because its my battle..I looked back..easy exit..but the door...the only door that held all the answers.
. If I made it through, it wouldn't be easy either..a maze of twists and turns...patience and perseverence..it would demand it all..yet when the going gets tough...its really gets worthier I guess!!
I turned it..the door opened..A gush of sand blindens my eye...caught in a whirlpool.. But swimming in the sea..it topples and rattles..its smooth at times and tosses around at others...its bright sunshine now... N dimming dusk next..
The night..? I wouldn't recognize the darkness either.
I plunge harder at times, even wade..and dabble while choose to simply float in between.. Mount a whale for speed at once...while hang on to a raft the next..
Yet...I swim on and on...tired limbs have only grown stronger... Sleepless moments have made rest appear sweeter..
 I know not if there would be the dawn at all..but all I do..is enjoy the pain..I swim on..and on..and on..

To the men of the world!

A day before both the newspapers as well as the markets seemed flooded with quotes and offers dedicated to women. As the history of women's day continues, I asked myself a simple question. Is this all necessary? Nevertheless I was happy to hear of many toll booths offering toll charge exemption for women that day and the like, Yet at least all such celebrations seemed farcical when I realise with every passing day that in the human clan, women are considered a different breed altogether!

To many a men(and women alike), who think that women are uselessly obsessed with little things, I would fondly point out that.. Dude u can't deny that these are the little uncanny habits which save you many a times in need. That's not always rhetoric!!! Gandhiji probably would never have won the freedom for the country had he not realized how valued some feminine habits are --''khana nahin khana hai...baat nahin karna hai...haath nahin uthana hai'' n so on.

Still others suggest, women just rejoice in discussing the unnecessary..making themselves a mockery for the world... Big deal men! It's the other faction which seems to have a fetish for everything which apparently may not be as relevant to anyone of us! Sachin is a god or not!! Shall we go ahead and ask Steffen Hawkins to answer that?! Who ever wants to poke their nose into the intra-cricketing rivalry either! In fact let me point out a small fact, gossips and chit-chats often teach us implicitly what is expected of us explicitly in a given social setting. Sounds rational enough? So, I would unhesitatingly admit..I do enjoy a little gossip now and then and am sure, many or may be all men enjoy them better. Just that its so unmanly to admit it.
Okhey!! More to come..female is the class who are often 'pessimistic' about many things harping on useless unseen dangers and complexifying simple lives. Funny assumption, but that's called not having a foresight by the way. It should be rather taken as a complementing character. While optimistism paves the way forward, a little blues helps one always be at guard. Remember the tiger who kept the boy alive in Life of pie because he couldn't just trust the former and was thus always on his toes. You should just be thankful that women fill the voids in any given relationship.

Why do women shout and nag all the time? Do you also feel the women have this obnoxious habit of cribbing on small things day and day out? It simply means they are not empowered enough. For 'only the helpless shout while the powerful rather prefer recalcitrance.' How do you react when you have to repeat a request n number of times? With the cable operator or service centres when they dont help you in time? You too resort to a scream or shout or running to the consumer forum. Sad there is no such forum for a domestic set up and if there was ..no woman would blow out a case out of proportion I guesss, a dash of make up, an excited attire, as streak of delicacy and the unmistakable attitude.. does describe the woman.. though not fully!

It could be a lot easier to understand that they exist just like men do, with just as independent features, characters and thought processes.. Capable of looking at the world with their own set of eyes, not necessarily what you desire them to be like or feel like.

They are not practical? OK isn't it like many umpteen number of times their so called philosophies have proved invaluable and practically handy.

So, men of the world why dont you for a minute un-man yourself..be a woman and feel how nice it is to be thus. And never the least dear women I pity you for you always have to deal with the world where every human individualis still referred to as a 'man'!!

Past, Present or Future.

My nephew in the 4th form put me a few questions today.. Some sentences to be rewritten in past tense, simple past, present, and so on. To every answer he was like ''why did you answer this particular way?"  I was grappling with them, unable to recall the thumb rules taught at school for my answer. So I just shut him off with a "now stop tens-ing with the past now"! And then to his constant bugging I disconnected the  call with the famous line "Yesterday is past, tomorrow is  future.. Since today is a gift we call it the present".

As I pondered later over the words today..present..gift etc..I was bemused to be thinking over so intently over a trivia!

Do we all live in the present? Certainly not!

Many of us live in the past.. Still many awakened souls find nirvana in the bright tomorrow. Where is the present? First thing first, how do I measure the present? Is the answer 'today'? The span of time between sunrise to nightfall! So I would rather be going about living in my daily chores.. My share of daily stress or occasional breaks of destressing.

In fact whatever I do is either a correction of the past error, or a manipulation of my future. So in fact I have no present. I m either brooding over the past or

steadily working over tomorrow. So isn't it like I am not living at all my 'gift'!!

As I kept confusing myself further and my mind ran back and fourth between the self created maze of the past-future jargon, the engineer within me resurfaced and replied " Stop being philosophical, there in fact is no definite least count of the present, how do we measure or live it.?...Easier said than done-living in the present"😏 

Yet at bed, my restive mind remains discontent with my bipolar self and its answer!

Open Letter to Mr.Arvind Kejriwal

 

 

Dear Mr.Kejriwal,

I write this letter to you as another of your kin~ ‘aam-aadmi’. I have always been appreciative of the services you rendered to the general public by strongly standing for causes like the RTI and Right to Service. It was impressive to be a witness to the startling victory your party AAP made in its debut during the recently held elections. It is even more commendable that a person with no earlier political roots shot to the office of the CM of our National Capital in so less time. The kind of person you are- educated, sensible and responsible, I assume you will also take my criticisms as seriously as my support.

My disappointment begun from the day, you sought support from all the auto-rickshaws in Delhi who rallied on your behalf in support of anti-corruption. Being a temporal resident of Dilli, I found the auto-rickshaws most uncooperative to women, let alone general citizens. They would blatantly refuse the right to travel on meter and the occurrence was not an isolated one. You went a step further asking people not to pay their electric bills which come as a surprise to me. (Erstwhile official of the Revenue department who better than you knows how the government’s economy functions?).

Your boarding into the seat of the Chief Minister brought along with its power, great responsibilities.  The post of the CM is a constitutional one. The role is way different from what was expected from you as an activist. You are expected to uphold the ethos of the democratic set-up while your dharnas and all the very more repeated ones have attracted widespread remarks of spreading anarchy. I cannot say for sure whether it is wrong to be an anarchist on your part. Even Gandhiji was accused of being so by the colonial regime. But he was fighting an alien power. Who are you disorienting from stability?? Your own system! Here again I would draw a basic difference between Gandhi and being Gandhi-like. Gandhiji had the ability to start and stop a movement with relative ease. Even by the word of the mouth, he could bring to stall the non-cooperation movement after the chauri-chaura incident when he realised that people did not in reality understand the meaning of Non-Cooperation. Even his staunchest critiques abided by his instructions in letter and spirit. Do you think you equal his abilities Mr.Kejriwal in this respect? Capable of holding back the mobocracy you initiate (sorry again for the use of strong words.) Here again I like to point out that Gandhiji had great restraint in words and actions even during his frequent dharnas, the trait you seem to be seriously lacking.

At a recent interview with CNN-IBN, when the doubts were posed that with such actions “aapki sarkar to bahut jald gir jayegee” and your answer to it: “Yahan sarkar bachane kaun aya hai”.. I am of the view that you serve only when you continue to be in power, else you end up ‘A FAD!’. Your quick granting of free water and discounts on electric bills looked more or less like populist measures, the like Indians have always had doses from their politicians. As a former official with the central government I expected you to do invaluable job in filling the voids of implementation of the laws already in place which is the biggest loophole in the system rather than demand for new ones.

Here again, I would like to remind you Mr.CM that AAP was the idea on which many youths and unhappy Indians banked their hopes on. I encountered many individuals at my workplace and elsewhere who extended unconditional support to your ideas. They strongly feel that a person highly educated from one of the premier institutes, trained well in the central government system would have a lot to offer in experience and intentions for the well-being of the citizens. The relief the freshness of your party brought in could be well perceived ubiquitously. So kindly, do not disappoint them. Because if you fail.. their hopes will as well..miserably. The voices that stand united today, will dare not stand up for the right cause in the near future

As I end this long letter, I would like to draw a contrast between why my views about your actions earlier and now. Whereas earlier you stood for something (RTI etc), nowadays you always seem to stand up against something/someone (Sonia Gandhi, Congress et al). The need here is to focus and focus on the essentials. It is important for you to keep in mind that people will always judge you from a high moral ground, the ideals you stand for. Your defending Mr.Somnath Bharti for his reckless actions only strengthened the opposition’s voice.

I would end simply by stating that it is time to keep the promises that one made while fondly remembering the lines.. “Miles to go before I sleep”.

A new start to an ending !

He smiled with a toothless grin. His laughter seemed still more lavish.. There was no prudence in his expression of emotions.. Sometimes laughing to heart’s content while at still other times crying out aloud till some attentive soul rushed to his rescue. Hunger, boredom, mirth or pain, he had a unique call and gesture for everything.

The lady stroked his sparse hair many times. Care, concern and love.. she showered everything through her patient hands. The insatiable heart enjoyed it all.. and yearned for more. Slowly the lady brought up the bowl of food to his mouth and tried nourishing a few spoonful of unpalatable stuff. Seconds later he rejected the food. No amount of cajoling would suffice to make him gobble all of it. He was in his own sweet world, of undivided attention, and the company of loved ones. As the little digested remains found its way out, the lady softly loosened the strings of his lower garment and with the same patience and love that exuded from every pore of her, wiped his back with a damp towel. He stirred not at anything.. everything around him was sheer bliss.. He cared not whether he ate or not.. cared not about money and wealth.. not of his survival ahead.. neither of what people thought of him.. He was the wisest of the lot, having known the right value of things that mattered most to mankind. Love & attention !! and he wanted them all..

My eyes flushed spontaneously.. and I knew not what I felt… sad or actually happy.. knew not what I was intently looking at.. The ailing old in his death-bed or ‘The curious case of Benjamin Button’ ?!!

 

---I was inspired to write this piece after I witnessed a very old patient (say aged 85) being brought in to rehabilitation centre for physiotherapy. People around them sort of glanced doubtful eyes if it would be a case of success going ahead. People even sometimes pointed out to his family members that such patients should rather be taken care of at home and it might be a waste to bring him in everyday so strenuously. I watched with awe how his loved ones were unruffled with such comments and carried on with their enquiry with the concerned paramedics and even eagerly followed their instructions. The old man himself showed vigour to learn things in order to improve, believing that he would again be able to regain his lost mobility. He shrieked at the errors of his son and grand-children while longingly looking around for their support and voice. Such is a case of people who are blessed with many loved ones in their family… people who value his presence.. people for whom taking care of him isn’t really a burden. Nevertheless the staff around took good care to see every possible help could be extended. I later realised that for the medico staff it might have meant just another case while for many it was a life..  life all so precious to their own young hearts !

This piece might be seen in a different connotation, but the message is similar. Even the oldest of the old do not shed off their hopes of a good life till their end. So, no matter what pain it takes we should respect their emotions and their right to live a dignified, comfortable life. Blessed are the people who have the overarching presence of the old at home. Its up to the hearts to decide whether to look at them from the point of degenerating gerontology or the presence of profound experience and limitless charm at home.

She is victim again !

Raised eyebrows concerned about the twenty six odd people killed in Newtown had yet not recovered, crying hearts for the innocent children had yet stopped weeping when the news of a young paramedical brutally almost maimed for life haunts the country at large. Well, this nationwide outrage.. Parliamentary upheavals and public thronging India gate to voice their concerns, all stand out to point to just one statement "Enough is enough" ! 

Well if I hear things that are supposedly not always rumours.. sunday like events have happened many times in the past. The national capital and so also other parts of the country ..have been in the news for the wrong reasons. Rather many such events occur even within families and close circles, at work places and at security posts, but go un-noticed and un-reported. 

When I picked up the topic for discussion with either my colleagues, friends, family et al, many seemed to suggest.. "Hang them to Death".. "Shoot them under public glare" and so on...Well these steps might work, but again I feel we might be making the mistake of cutting the shoots rather than striking at the roots.. These can only serve as temporary deterrents. And as I have often repeated earlier "A punishment is never compensation to the victim. It is meant only to act as a deterrent against such future reoccurrences" 

Well, the problem is not simply an act of heinous crime. Punishment cannot ensure non-reoccurrence of every such event. Because if such was the case, one of the accused would not so easily utter 'I have done a serious crime.. give me death'. Well what struck the young lad from Connecticut when he went about open firing only later to kill himself, we might never know, and so also the perpetrators of this crime who kept brutally beating up the duo until 45 odd minutes only to dump them later on the road. Is the justice delivery system so weak that they were sure never to be traced? Is the Delhi Police entirely to be blamed for this?  

I don’t intend to debate on the above questions, but I still feel these problems do not have any solution ready on the platter. Going about this I can only make a few suggestions which in my opinion might change certain factors that lead to such incidents. Feel free to contradict wherever you feel otherwise. 

Suggestions: 

To the parents/guardians of the male child. 

1) Educate your boy from the grassroots, right from his early stage the values of respecting the weaker sex. Teach him how to talk and behave with women of all ages. Strengthen his ties with his mother, sisters and other female members of the family. This acts as a much better method to learn by oneself. 

2) Do not ever, misbehave, disgrace or demean a woman in front of him. It is common to find the male counterparts in many families blatantly misbehaving with their wives only to teach their sons to do the same in future. 

3) Not just theoretically but also in real life situations, do not show explicit preference for a male child. This sets the mentality among the young men that women are just another objects of the society who can be treated in any fashion. Remember men who love and respect their sisters duly are much less liable to commit such crimes. 

4) Correct your young boy, whenever you find him showing the slightest disrespect to women within or outside his home. 

To the parent/Guardian of the Girl Child. 

1) Instil confidence in your girl. Teach her to observe the world better and prepare herself to guard herself if need arises. 

2) Repeatedly ask your girl to unhesitatingly report any untoward situation to you. She should be able to express every little detail about anyone, no matter how familiar or respected at home. Do not distrust her at the first go but rather verify the matter immediately.

3) Do not treat the female body as the embodiment of family respect and honour. In that case many families like the way in the past would hesitate to report such matters only to encourage such horrendous crimes to continue still. Rather look at the matter from an individual perspective, a violation of one's dignity and individuality. 

To every susceptible female 

1) Learn to look beyond the obvious. Carefully calculate under every circumstance "What if.."

2) Keep yourself handy with a few weapons... pepper spray etc., if your work or routine demands that might work a little late, or may have to travel longer and unknown distances/places.

3) Survey your place of stay, mode of transport before boarding. If you can afford to, ensure there is enough crowd around in case you face any trouble. 

4) Look at every stranger with an eye of suspicion and plan your defence well before hand. 

5) No matter how tempting, avoid strolling or hanging around in deserted areas even if you are with a male counterpart. Remember.. Let alone him protecting you, in case a bigger team attacks, your poor chap might even be in trouble along with you. 

6) In case work demands so, choose to wait and go back home in office arranged cabs preferably accompanied by a male member of your workplace whom you completely trust. 

7) Keep anyone (in your family/ close friend/ work place) regularly posted of your present location every now and then. In case need arises they might be readily available to help you out from any difficult situation. 

To teachers at school 

1) Teach the children early to mingle healthily. Mostly in India, gender bias created in the minds of the pupils in the early stages creates major divides as they grow up. 

To men who are fathers/friends/ brothers/ colleagues et al. 
     
 1)      Prefer to take that extra pain but ensure security to the women you care for always.
2)      Stop being a hypocrite and preaching woman safety if you have or ever intend to look down upon women. Many rapists simply intend to exert and display their dominance over women.

I completely agree that women are no caged/ domesticated animals to be constantly guarded around. But yes, this is only a safety valve.. Society should do its duty to ensure every female a free-er world to live in.. but at the same time, I personally feel a little extra caution might save us from learning things the hard way !!