The gentle breeze in between,
The gaze that tell it all,
The feeling like a free fall!
The presence that is full of life,
The distance, yet the proximity
The warmth of the softest touch,
The smile that means so much.
The blinking of the eyes,
The hair playing in the air,
The face so serene, so reposeful
Oh, I wish they were here,
with me all the while, all the time…
5 comments:
:)
I hope there must be someone in your mind when you wrote this or else you have great imagination :P
whatever be the case, I am sure someday all of these would be with you all the while, all the time... coz such beautiful lines filled with such great feelings cannot go in vain ;)
feedback :P
Due to my very limited knowledge of the art of poetry, I would be employing the feedback of one of my more experienced friends to comment...
The first line is exceptional, very near genius. And the first paragraph seems to win it all. But what I(and he) felt that, the ideas did not scale any new heights after that. Rather the ending seemed to be very mediocre compared to the beginning. I guess the portrayal in the other parts could have been a lot better like the first paragraph...
OOO... guddu !
Your comment(on behalf of your friend) sounds fair enough..
Re-reading the whole thing... I realise a point there.. the flow could have been developed and then ended better..
Merci 'Friend' !!
Post a Comment