On this same day back in 2012, I gazed across the window of Rajdhani as it sped southwards with my heavy heart. I realized what I held back there despite my three months stay in the small, expensive room on the terrace in Karolbagh.
I came back again in 2014..to enter the expansive grounds of a university spread across the Aravallis. Like every other smaller city girl, even I had carried along my dreams on my shoulders with the rest of my baggage. As I called back my brother to tell him I had landed, he instructed me to text him back the Taxi number and other details. I missed Cuttack terribly, how safe..how home-ly! The next call to my bf and the voice assuringly at the other end.. "Don’t worry, you will soon be at home in Delhi".
Few more days of shuttling via Metros and buses, each time calling back my friends in Patparganj to let them know of my GPS location (Admire the Odia spirit of responsibility!) had taught me to manage my time and space pretty well. The initial days with them had helped me cope with both my oblivion as well as anxiety
As I soon shifted over to JNU with multiple tasks at hand, I subconsciously had become a part of the university. Classes, term papers, shifts to Karolbagh, mock tests, library, my new roommate all started fitting into my 'self'.
With exams few days in hand, I barely well prepared for writing an exam as big as I had set out for and not to forget a new engagement to an age old one right in November.. days were spent in rapid syllabus coverage, answer writing sessions while managing the university work.
As one keeps busy in making the ends meet, one barely seems to notice if things are going wrong anywhere. Frustration often vented out in obvious stress and strain sometimes become the biggest alibi for you being left out in the rat race for survival and quest for a better life on this planet. In retrospect you can only shrug your shoulders and laugh it off, learn the lesson and blame it on time and space.. for everything you receive in life is not necessarily your own making. It’s like a lay pedestrian losing his life in an accident because the speeding DTC bus driver did not apply the brakes when needed.
As another few months had passed, I realized how acquainted I had grown with the strange city. I could confidently navigate the auto rickshaw to my destination, guess the distance it would make, bargain and haggle with the street side vendors in Connaught Place, arrive at the right eatery at the right time for a sumptous meal and even decide on the taste of the crowd I wished to encounter, Old Delhi...Karolbagh..Chandni Chowk..Saket and the list goes on.
My love with my acquired skills were further revealed when I took my aunt who came down from US for three days of unleashed shopping in Delhi haat, Connaught Place etc. Few months on, as I accompanied two other friends for some small trips around to places like Lal Killa, Parathe walli galli, the upmarket Hauz Khas village (as they loved looking around at the crowd ;-)) and subsequently to the taste of the sacrosanct typical Odia meal at the Jagannath temple nearby.. I was priding off my knowledge nevertheless, with both of them on the marbled floor of the temple, in the evening breeze where discussion on aviation, engineering, medical science, bureaucracy and mythology acquired equal space.
Today, as I sat back realizing the importance of the date..I mentioned it to my friends, it was a year complete in Delhi, I realized how drastically life changes.. How my confidence level had upgraded itself altogether. How much I had become a part of this city-system, exploiting its offers while guarding against possible dangers. How light I felt hello-ing people I knew barely by face.. rushing to my work with no company but myself.. compiling my materials with utmost care and self-inspection (previously a huge drawback with me).. helping novices out with bits of information. In between my usual manner of being lost in thoughts I was interrupted by one of my co-bakkar-ers.. "Tu last tym Sitambar main ayee thee aur itne marks phod diya mains main...sahi hai".. I modestly reflected to myself.."Only if that was the end to my ordeal!" and then to him "Itna hi great hai to results swap karlein"..followed by grins and smugs!
While the discussion was dimmed amongst jeers of laughter and dispersal back to the reading rooms.. I began reflecting on my possible days ahead. How easy or tough the path is, no one knows. Seriously no one.. and this time I am not hallucinating myself with voices of usual optimism that stops brightening you up in the face of a real crisis. Just looked around and laughed at the old dialogue from the movie Run.. "Kahe ka Dilli bey.. Dil-Hi to nahin hai yahan pe!!!"
Smiling back in self-motivational attempts, I knew, Delhi still holds many unfold stories for me..while I have many unfinished tasks. I have known never to give up so
I came back again in 2014..to enter the expansive grounds of a university spread across the Aravallis. Like every other smaller city girl, even I had carried along my dreams on my shoulders with the rest of my baggage. As I called back my brother to tell him I had landed, he instructed me to text him back the Taxi number and other details. I missed Cuttack terribly, how safe..how home-ly! The next call to my bf and the voice assuringly at the other end.. "Don’t worry, you will soon be at home in Delhi".
Few more days of shuttling via Metros and buses, each time calling back my friends in Patparganj to let them know of my GPS location (Admire the Odia spirit of responsibility!) had taught me to manage my time and space pretty well. The initial days with them had helped me cope with both my oblivion as well as anxiety
As I soon shifted over to JNU with multiple tasks at hand, I subconsciously had become a part of the university. Classes, term papers, shifts to Karolbagh, mock tests, library, my new roommate all started fitting into my 'self'.
With exams few days in hand, I barely well prepared for writing an exam as big as I had set out for and not to forget a new engagement to an age old one right in November.. days were spent in rapid syllabus coverage, answer writing sessions while managing the university work.
As one keeps busy in making the ends meet, one barely seems to notice if things are going wrong anywhere. Frustration often vented out in obvious stress and strain sometimes become the biggest alibi for you being left out in the rat race for survival and quest for a better life on this planet. In retrospect you can only shrug your shoulders and laugh it off, learn the lesson and blame it on time and space.. for everything you receive in life is not necessarily your own making. It’s like a lay pedestrian losing his life in an accident because the speeding DTC bus driver did not apply the brakes when needed.
As another few months had passed, I realized how acquainted I had grown with the strange city. I could confidently navigate the auto rickshaw to my destination, guess the distance it would make, bargain and haggle with the street side vendors in Connaught Place, arrive at the right eatery at the right time for a sumptous meal and even decide on the taste of the crowd I wished to encounter, Old Delhi...Karolbagh..Chandni Chowk..Saket and the list goes on.
My love with my acquired skills were further revealed when I took my aunt who came down from US for three days of unleashed shopping in Delhi haat, Connaught Place etc. Few months on, as I accompanied two other friends for some small trips around to places like Lal Killa, Parathe walli galli, the upmarket Hauz Khas village (as they loved looking around at the crowd ;-)) and subsequently to the taste of the sacrosanct typical Odia meal at the Jagannath temple nearby.. I was priding off my knowledge nevertheless, with both of them on the marbled floor of the temple, in the evening breeze where discussion on aviation, engineering, medical science, bureaucracy and mythology acquired equal space.
Today, as I sat back realizing the importance of the date..I mentioned it to my friends, it was a year complete in Delhi, I realized how drastically life changes.. How my confidence level had upgraded itself altogether. How much I had become a part of this city-system, exploiting its offers while guarding against possible dangers. How light I felt hello-ing people I knew barely by face.. rushing to my work with no company but myself.. compiling my materials with utmost care and self-inspection (previously a huge drawback with me).. helping novices out with bits of information. In between my usual manner of being lost in thoughts I was interrupted by one of my co-bakkar-ers.. "Tu last tym Sitambar main ayee thee aur itne marks phod diya mains main...sahi hai".. I modestly reflected to myself.."Only if that was the end to my ordeal!" and then to him "Itna hi great hai to results swap karlein"..followed by grins and smugs!
While the discussion was dimmed amongst jeers of laughter and dispersal back to the reading rooms.. I began reflecting on my possible days ahead. How easy or tough the path is, no one knows. Seriously no one.. and this time I am not hallucinating myself with voices of usual optimism that stops brightening you up in the face of a real crisis. Just looked around and laughed at the old dialogue from the movie Run.. "Kahe ka Dilli bey.. Dil-Hi to nahin hai yahan pe!!!"
Smiling back in self-motivational attempts, I knew, Delhi still holds many unfold stories for me..while I have many unfinished tasks. I have known never to give up so
easily. Everything that begins has to conclude as well. I wait to see what life can really be like.. Strange coming from me.. because till yesterday I thought I had always seen life from very close proximity..
Life... a mixed bag of my own efforts and pre-destiny. Suddenly I was reminded of Greenday's famous number "As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost.. Wake me up when September ends.."
1 comment:
Just... As long as you keep moving... The things will keep rolling for sure!
And then years later.. You will still have such incredible stories.. Just that you will be referring to such blogs of yours to recall the dates! :P
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