She is victim again !

Raised eyebrows concerned about the twenty six odd people killed in Newtown had yet not recovered, crying hearts for the innocent children had yet stopped weeping when the news of a young paramedical brutally almost maimed for life haunts the country at large. Well, this nationwide outrage.. Parliamentary upheavals and public thronging India gate to voice their concerns, all stand out to point to just one statement "Enough is enough" ! 

Well if I hear things that are supposedly not always rumours.. sunday like events have happened many times in the past. The national capital and so also other parts of the country ..have been in the news for the wrong reasons. Rather many such events occur even within families and close circles, at work places and at security posts, but go un-noticed and un-reported. 

When I picked up the topic for discussion with either my colleagues, friends, family et al, many seemed to suggest.. "Hang them to Death".. "Shoot them under public glare" and so on...Well these steps might work, but again I feel we might be making the mistake of cutting the shoots rather than striking at the roots.. These can only serve as temporary deterrents. And as I have often repeated earlier "A punishment is never compensation to the victim. It is meant only to act as a deterrent against such future reoccurrences" 

Well, the problem is not simply an act of heinous crime. Punishment cannot ensure non-reoccurrence of every such event. Because if such was the case, one of the accused would not so easily utter 'I have done a serious crime.. give me death'. Well what struck the young lad from Connecticut when he went about open firing only later to kill himself, we might never know, and so also the perpetrators of this crime who kept brutally beating up the duo until 45 odd minutes only to dump them later on the road. Is the justice delivery system so weak that they were sure never to be traced? Is the Delhi Police entirely to be blamed for this?  

I don’t intend to debate on the above questions, but I still feel these problems do not have any solution ready on the platter. Going about this I can only make a few suggestions which in my opinion might change certain factors that lead to such incidents. Feel free to contradict wherever you feel otherwise. 

Suggestions: 

To the parents/guardians of the male child. 

1) Educate your boy from the grassroots, right from his early stage the values of respecting the weaker sex. Teach him how to talk and behave with women of all ages. Strengthen his ties with his mother, sisters and other female members of the family. This acts as a much better method to learn by oneself. 

2) Do not ever, misbehave, disgrace or demean a woman in front of him. It is common to find the male counterparts in many families blatantly misbehaving with their wives only to teach their sons to do the same in future. 

3) Not just theoretically but also in real life situations, do not show explicit preference for a male child. This sets the mentality among the young men that women are just another objects of the society who can be treated in any fashion. Remember men who love and respect their sisters duly are much less liable to commit such crimes. 

4) Correct your young boy, whenever you find him showing the slightest disrespect to women within or outside his home. 

To the parent/Guardian of the Girl Child. 

1) Instil confidence in your girl. Teach her to observe the world better and prepare herself to guard herself if need arises. 

2) Repeatedly ask your girl to unhesitatingly report any untoward situation to you. She should be able to express every little detail about anyone, no matter how familiar or respected at home. Do not distrust her at the first go but rather verify the matter immediately.

3) Do not treat the female body as the embodiment of family respect and honour. In that case many families like the way in the past would hesitate to report such matters only to encourage such horrendous crimes to continue still. Rather look at the matter from an individual perspective, a violation of one's dignity and individuality. 

To every susceptible female 

1) Learn to look beyond the obvious. Carefully calculate under every circumstance "What if.."

2) Keep yourself handy with a few weapons... pepper spray etc., if your work or routine demands that might work a little late, or may have to travel longer and unknown distances/places.

3) Survey your place of stay, mode of transport before boarding. If you can afford to, ensure there is enough crowd around in case you face any trouble. 

4) Look at every stranger with an eye of suspicion and plan your defence well before hand. 

5) No matter how tempting, avoid strolling or hanging around in deserted areas even if you are with a male counterpart. Remember.. Let alone him protecting you, in case a bigger team attacks, your poor chap might even be in trouble along with you. 

6) In case work demands so, choose to wait and go back home in office arranged cabs preferably accompanied by a male member of your workplace whom you completely trust. 

7) Keep anyone (in your family/ close friend/ work place) regularly posted of your present location every now and then. In case need arises they might be readily available to help you out from any difficult situation. 

To teachers at school 

1) Teach the children early to mingle healthily. Mostly in India, gender bias created in the minds of the pupils in the early stages creates major divides as they grow up. 

To men who are fathers/friends/ brothers/ colleagues et al. 
     
 1)      Prefer to take that extra pain but ensure security to the women you care for always.
2)      Stop being a hypocrite and preaching woman safety if you have or ever intend to look down upon women. Many rapists simply intend to exert and display their dominance over women.

I completely agree that women are no caged/ domesticated animals to be constantly guarded around. But yes, this is only a safety valve.. Society should do its duty to ensure every female a free-er world to live in.. but at the same time, I personally feel a little extra caution might save us from learning things the hard way !!